Accepting Compliments is Hard

Yesterday I was working out using the cable machine at the gym. So that I did not have to adjust the cable bar between the top and the bottom settings on one side of the machine for my alternating exercises, I was using both sides of the machine. As I was finishing up one of my exercises, I noticed a man had come over to the area but had turned around to walk away looking a wee bit forlorn. Based on his body language, it was clear that he had wanted to use one of the sides of the machine. I caught his attention, and offered up one of the cables to him, saying that I didn’t need both. When he asked if I was sure I said, “Yeah, I was just being lazy. I didn’t want to have to move the cable bar up and down”. He thanked me and proceeded to perform his exercises.

After I had gotten through another set, he said, “It’s funny what you consider lazy” referring to my comment about using two sides of the cable machine so I did not have to adjust the cable bar up and down. He said, “You’re the hardest working person in here! It’s really inspiring”. I smiled meekly and said “I have big goals”. (Picture Garth’s smile from Wayne’s World after his crazy good drum solo when he says “I like to play”.)

You see, when I go into the gym, I put my music on and get into the zone. I forget that other people can and do see me. Or if I remember, I pretend they can’t like a toddler that covers their eyes and thinks it makes them disappear. (Thank you AirPods and loud music for helping to serve this purpose for me!)

His comment brought me back into reality. And then I remembered conversations I’ve had with my son where he said sometimes it’s hard for him (and lots of humans, frankly) to simply accept a compliment without excusing it away or minimizing it somehow. It’s so hard to just say, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say!”

It’s much easier to give compliments than to receive them for both my son, and for me. That memory fortunately popped into my brain in time and I had the opportunity to add on a quick “Thank you. I appreciate that”.

I recently shared a post from another Instagram page talking about how the words we use are important, particularly the words we use about ourselves. And yet here I was referring to myself as lazy when I was 50 minutes into a solid and hard strength training session. I think I do this because I don’t want to come off as conceited or as a person that’s taking up too much space in this world. But while it’s absolutely important to share, and we don’t need to use two machines at once when the gym is busy, we also don’t need to excuse ourselves for taking up space in a world that we all live in together. It was a good reminder to practice accepting compliments gracefully rather than feeling as though they are somehow undeserved. I DO work hard. I DO put forth effort. And I’m NOT LAZY despite the fact that  I have used that word to describe myself so many times in my past. 

So today I say THANK YOU to the kind stranger at the gym who complimented me on my effort. It made me work that much harder on the last two sets of my workout and I left the gym with a smile on my face.

May this also be a reminder to my friends today that it’s OK to say thanks when someone compliments you and to not feel as though you should dismiss it. And a special thank you to my son for the many conversations we have had around this topic as he himself has learned how to graciously accept compliments in his own life.

Much love, friends!